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Bunch O questions you should ask yourself (printer friendly)

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?
If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?
If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
How can someone "draw a blank"?
Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?
Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
What is another word for "thesaurus"?
When they ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?
Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?
Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?
Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?
Does a fish get cramps after eating?
Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"?
Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
How can there be "self help GROUPS"?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of sound, what happens when you honk the horn?
Why do they put braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why are we afraid of flying? Shouldn't we be afraid of crashing?
Why is it called a bust, when it stops right before the part it is named after?
Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light?
Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?
Why do light switches say on/off? When it's on you can see it's on, when it's off you can't see to read.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
How do you know it's an ENDLESS LOOP?
Why is FOOTball played by hand?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms, are they afraid someone might clean them?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters who wear sheets aren't going as ghosts, but as mattresses?
Whose cruel idea was it to put an "s" in the word lisp?
If a man is standing in the middle of a forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
Is atheism a non-prophet organization?
Isn't it a bit unraveling that what doctors and lawyers call what they do "practice?"
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a bit are alike?
If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Why do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Why to we ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Why is there no egg in egg plant and no ham in hamburger?
Is Beethoven decomposing in his coffin?
Is a lawyer someone who helps you get what's coming to him?
When you cross a Mafia don with a lawyer, do have someone who makes you an offer you can't understand?
If you jogged backward, would you gain weight?
When people get older and read the Bible a whole lot more, are they cramming for their finals?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
Why is it when you turn on the TV you see ads for telephone companies, and when you turn on the radio you hear ads for TV shows, and when you get put on hold on the phone you hear a radio station?
Why do we have signs that say. "No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs?" Just who is the sign for - the dog or the blind person?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Why do they call it the Department of the Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
Why is it that the guy who comes up behind you while you are waiting for an elevator presses the already lit button?
Why is it that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone driving faster than you is a moron?
Why is the alphabet in that order?Is it because of that song?
Why do people ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give you a choice, did they?
Why do people without a watch point to their wrist when they ask someone what time it is? Do you suppose they point to their crotch when they ask for directions to the bathroom?
If two silkworms were in a race, would they end up in a tie?
If a Buddhist refused Novocain from his dentist during root canal work, would he transcend dental medication?
If you complained a lot about having to commute every day through the Lincoln Tunnel with a bunch of co-workers, would you have a bad case of "car pool tunnel syndrome"?
Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
Why is a guinea pig neither from Guinea, nor is it a pig?
Is there a Federal agency you're supposed to call if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
If a turtle looses it's shell is it homeless or naked?
If police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
How do they get deer to cross the roads at those yellow signs?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
How did a fool and his money GET together?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream containers?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
If God is perfect, why did he create discontinuous functions?
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
Why do you have to work like a slave to get a Master's degree?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Have you noticed that the wrong calls are never busy?
If superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers?
If fire fighters fight fire, and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
If the Pillsbury doughboy eats a Cookie is he a cannibal?
Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?
What was the best thing before "sliced" bread?
Is he who hesitates not only lost, but miles from the next exit?

so many questions...